I recall back in 2019, I mentioned that this decade is for marriage for my folks. Oh yeah, most of my peers are now adults; 🎉, some are married, some have children, some are about to, and others are undetermined. I am happy for everyone and hope to see us continue this journey of life with more swag and beauty.
I always reminisce about my aspirations and goals in life, as I understand and believe that aside from chasing and getting money, my life should be about something. If you haven’t defined it yet, it is best to define it now.
A life with purpose is one with meaning; we recall Alhassan Dantata for his wealth, we remember Moshood Abiola for his contributions, and we recall Obafemi Awolowo for his advocacy of free education. You can remember your grandparents for their purposes. Purpose makes us more memorable as we journey out of life.
Having a purpose that we run after in our lives requires some special attention, one that is expensive to get as an adult, as you trade your limited time for money to earn a living—even if you run a business.
Your relatives, friends, spouse, parents, and internet all want your attention at the same time, which is almost impossible, but we can always make a trade-off as to which to give priority. So, then I ask the question: what is essential and what is necessary?
We did some scale of preference in our secondary school economics and opportunity cost. It is not limited to buying an item; it is essentially about making better decisions at every point in life.
You have NGN200, but you need to buy sandals for school, which cost NGN150; a mathematical set costs NGN200; a new jacket costs NGN100; or a new textbook costs NGN250. What would you do?
Bringing it to our current state, you have work, your spouse, your notifications, your parents, and your friends wanting to get your attention. What would you do?
Notice how money became attention and commodities became people.
For something to be necessary, I can’t live without it; if I don’t do it, I might die, for instance, from sleep. If I have a sleep schedule but my work wants to interfere with it, I would rather sleep, as my health is more important than anything else.
If I am working and my parents call, I would rather prioritize the call; they are necessary, as I am responsible for their well-being. If I am playing and work shows up, I would rather head off for work, as I won’t survive without my wages.
Still, some things are essential: working is necessary, but working hard is important; visiting my parents or attending to their needs is essential, but giving them comfort is important.
Having a good time with my family is essential, but spending quality time with them every day is even more critical. Seeking growth is necessary, but making a substantial amount of money is essential.
Essential things are things that could exist even without you, but because you are there, you must do them. Kids can get quality time without me, but since I am their father, I have to give it to them. My friends can play out without me, but because I am their friend, I have to go out with them.
Making more money can exist without my growth, as I can increase my earnings by switching to another field; however, growth is necessary if I am to maintain the same field of work.
You might have school, work, business, and family. Switching between these roles without causing damage to others requires that you make the best decision on what to do right now and what to do later.
Life itself doesn’t let you make an easy decision; you might have to submit an assignment today, and your boss needs that proposal by morning, yet your wife needs your help, and there is a delivery for new packages at the business. '
You need to decide what to do and in what order to do them, and accept the cost of not getting some things done on the spot—an opportunity cost in economics.
I am a fan of multitasking; nature itself is a master at it, and you really can’t escape it in life. Although you can only focus on one thing at a time, you do have the ability to have many things running simultaneously. As we grow older, from teenagers to adults, the responsibilities continue to pile up.
This is a tasking mental model that we pick up subconsciously, I believe. Imagine our parents and how many things they manage even to this day. They know about every relative, the whole history of their career or business, and their children’s attributes.
And I want to believe they mastered knowing what is necessary and what is essential at every point in time. It is innate in humans, and I think we will adapt as well. Just a heads-up!
I would love to hear how you make your choices when presented with myriad seemingly necessary situations. For me, I order them by health first, then shelter, then food, then energy, then money, then education or knowledge. What is it for you?